Going Back to Work

After four months off I recently returned to work. So, along with adjusting to work as a special needs mom I also had to add a baby to the mix. You can only imagine the chaos.

I’m not going to say it's all bad because thankfully I work from home. This gives me peace of mind because if at any moment anything happens with Luke I can be there right away. We also receive a huge amount of help from my mom and mother-in-law. They both retired from their jobs and help us watch our kids throughout the day while Adrian and I work. I truly love them so much and I’m so thankful for them.

In order to feel comfortable with going back to work, I needed to know that they could do everything from medications, daily therapy, to feedings.

Accepting help has not always been easy for us, but when Luke came out of the NICU I knew it was imperative that we accept help. Although I don't think anyone can care for my kids and Luke the way Adrian and I can, I had to put that aside and teach our mothers about Luke’s everyday care. In order to feel comfortable with going back to work, even if it’s only a room over, I needed to know that they could do everything from medications, daily therapy, to feedings. What I did was create a binder with instructions on how to care for Luke in great detail and then I trained them. I had them come over to my house and watch how we care for Luke. Yes, I know there are small differences in how we do things but overall, for the most part, they care for him pretty good. So here I am working full time from home, managing Luke's medical appointments, having a crying baby in the background, while Mia talks the day away.

I’m still figuring out how to be in two places at once. My job requires me to provide clinical therapy to clients that struggle from a range of mental health issues from depression, to bipolar, to schizophrenia. Providing therapy and at the same time managing my own depression and anxiety is very challenging. Going from an assessment with a client that shared that he decapitated animals and then having to care for my new born within the same half hour can be daunting. I can honestly say that I struggle holding a safe place for my clients and for myself. Sometimes I still feel the stress from work lingering while making dinner. I guess working from home doesn’t allow you to decompress and switch hats as easily. Whether it be therapy, accounting, or any other work from home, this switch can be difficult and can create more stress within ourselves. What I would tell a client is to take a walk after work to create that switch in your brain. I’ve noticed that when I go to the gym right after work I feel refreshed and ready to care for my family once I get home.

Other challenges that I face in working from home besides the noise is the space

Other challenges that I face in working from home besides the noise is the space. We live in a small home with four bedrooms. Most of the day I spend on phone calls and zoom so I need a presentable location that is not my bedroom. Allowing my clients to see where I sleep is weird and unprofessional to say the least. So what we do is share Adrian’s music studio. Sadly for him I invaded this space and I’m slowly making it my own (sorry honey). But overall we make it work.

Depression can be weird sometimes and it hits you out of nowhere.

The hardest part is finding the energy and motivation on days when I struggle. Depression can be weird sometimes and it hits you out of nowhere. The demands from work are pretty high and I find myself adding more stress than what I already have due to kids and Luke. This is an ongoing struggle that I sometimes handle with good boundaries and coping skills and then other days I don't do as well. I do know that I’m only human and even though I'm also a therapist I too struggle with my mental health. So returning to work has been an adjustment but I do what I need to do for my family.